Yesterday I got in a big screaming match with my 14 yr old right before he went to school. In the midst of the yelling, he said “I hate you”. And to be honest, I was completely unfazed by it. My feelings weren’t hurt, I didn’t care at all, because I kinda really don’t like him also. Today, I don’t anyway. Seriously, this kid is the bane of my existence.
This particular argument was about shoes. For the past week “A” had been wearing my Nike slides to school. I was annoyed by it, because I wear them as house slippers, something I can slip them on quick even with socks. I let him without really saying anything, even though he looked ridiculous, especially when he wore shorts with knee high socks and my slides. Plus, I have really small feet, I can wear a kids size 3. Size 4 is a little more comfortable because the Size 3 is narrower but they still fit. This kid wears a 9. His heels were obviously falling off the back of the slide. But I just wore my other Nike sandals which have the toe strap, can’t wear them with socks but the weather has been kind of nice the past few days anyway. A few nights ago, I took them back though. I was irritated because they felt stretched out, but they have a fabric top so I am hoping that I can wash and dry them and have them shrink back.
Yesterday it was raining so I was going to drive “A” and his sister “C” to the bus stop at the end of the little subdivision we live in. They’re both in middle school. School doesn’t start for them until about 9:30am, and they head out to the bus at 8:45am. “A” is always late, and yesterday morning was no exception. “Where are your shoes? Let’s go!” the argument began. “I don’t have any shoes” Sigh, here we go. The kid has shoes. “Where are you Air Force’s?” He has a pair of white, too big Air Force 1 low tops that he apparently traded some kid at school for. “They’re muddy” He has been saying that for a week! Which is what I responded to him. “Why didn’t you wash them yet?” No response. Or maybe there was a response that was just complete nonsense that I wasn’t even listening to him. He hasn’t even had them that long and he has destroyed them, like he does everything. “A” goes into his sisters room and comes out wearing my other Nike slides. So that’s where they went. I have also been looking for those for the last week. “nuh uh, no, you’re not wearing my slides, I already told you that! Besides you already ruined the other ones” “Well, I have nothing else to wear!” he yells. “Why can’t I wear the other ones then if I have already ruined them like you said”. I didn’t even bother giving the explanation that I think they might be fixable with a wash and dry shrink. I stuck with the obvious. “It’s raining! You don’t wear slides with socks in the rain. Where are your Puma’s?” We moved states a few months ago and before they started at their new school my husband had taken him to buy new sneakers. They were black and white Puma’s. They looked nice, nothing wrong with them at all, and “A” had picked them out. He wore them for maybe a month before he made the trade with the kids for the AF’s, which is what he had been wearing since. He said he didn’t know where they were. We went into his room, as the clocks ticks away and I am becoming increasingly aggravated with him. I open his closet. Aaaah, so this is how he has been “cleaning” his room, just throwing everything in his closet. There was a huge heap of clothes on the floor and it smelled like a sweaty gym locker. I dig around for a few minutes and manage to find one of the Puma’s at the bottom of the heap. Success! Oh, wait, spoke too soon …. there’s no shoelaces in the shoes. I am telling him to find the other shoe and find some shoelaces, or find his crocs, just find something! And he is just standing there, looking at me, not moving. He tells me that he threw away his Crocs because they were “trash” and not even real Croc’s. Well, true, they weren’t, but there was nothing wrong with them either. I go back into my room. Shoes without shoelaces are going to be a problem, and we need to hurry up. I looked in my closet. I have some Jordan’s but my feet are too small for him to be able to wear them. My husband has gotten rid of most of his sneakers because he doesn’t wear them much anymore. Before we got married, he used to go out a lot and socialize, and he had all sorts of Jordan’s to match his outfits. But now it’s mostly work and home, so before we moved he gave most of his sneakers to his brothers. My husband is protective of his shoes and takes good care of them and would probably be mad to find out I was offering to let “A” wear a pair, but I found a pair I really couldn’t remember him wearing. I told “A” to put those on. He threw a fit about that. To be fair, they are 2 sizes too big. But I didn’t think he would care, the Air Forces were also a size or more too big for him too. But ok, fine, well we are back to the Puma’s, even if they have no shoelaces. But I am mad at this point, he is stomping around, acting like a baby. I tell him to go barefoot for all I care! He yells back “Fine, I will!” Obviously, that is not a viable solution. I know he would prefer a nice pair of Jordan’s, but I am not spending $100-150 on shoes he won’t take care of and will be trashed within a few months. I am yelling at him to get moving, get to the car, lets go!! I tell him to put on the Puma’s. I don’t care if they have no shoelaces, he has shoes on his feet and let’s go. He would have shoes if he would take care of them. He is yelling, slightly crying, shoes falling off his feet as he walks down the stairs and that’s when the “I hate you” comes out. “oh, I am going to cry, you said you hate me, waaaah” I mock him. I really don’t care. Right now, I want this kid at school and just out of my sight.
On the way to the car, I yell at him that I am not buying him new shoes because he doesn’t take care of anything, and he would have shoes to wear if he did. Not to mention he just broke his little brother’s headphones on purpose the night before because he was mad, so typical of him. He is so entitled, I tell/yell at him, but if he thinks his life is hard or sucks, he should start behaving better. Of course, by now they have missed the bus, so I now have to drive him and his sister all the way to school. We pass a Walmart on the way, I told him I would go buy him shoelaces for the shoes. I ran into the store and grabbed a pair of white shoelaces and a pair of black shoelaces. Then a pair of sneakers catch my eye. They are black, with a white sole and they almost look like Vans without the logo. $20. This kid doesn’t deserve anything, and I should make him put the shoelaces in and wear the Puma’s, which are perfectly fine. But the school is only a few miles away and I know he will drag out the process of getting them into the shoes, and I really just want to be away from him as quickly as possible. Besides, I need to get back home and on my computer for work. So I grab the $20 sneakers along with the shoelaces for the other shoes, and go back to the car, wondering if he is going to have something smart to say about these Walmart shoes or if he will decide to wear the Puma’s. I open the back door and throw the bag to him without a word. Climbing into the front seat and taking off, I hear him getting scissors out of his backpack to snip the tie on the new shoes holding them together. I drop them off at school and pull off without saying a word to either him or his sister. “Have a great day” I think to myself, rolling my eyes because “A” has put a serious damper on my day,
On the way back home, I realized my husband “T” had texted me 20 minutes earlier and I hadn’t noticed. He just started a new job and had to drive to an offsite location to get his new badge. I told him sorry I missed his text, I was dealing with “A”. He Facetimed me and I told him the story. He shakes his head, “He is ridiculous” he says, understanding what I deal with daily. But inside I am feeling a little regret for losing my cool, this kid is just so frustrating!
Later that night, pretty late actually at almost 9pm, we got a pizza. We all sat around the table eating. I cook dinner most nights, but we rarely all eat together. The boys are so picky, if they don’t like what I made, they’ll just eat cereal. “A” was across from me, staring at me. “Why are you staring at me?” I asked him. He laughed and said, “I’m not, I’m just eating, you’re just across from me”. In my head I am wondering if he feels any remorse for the morning events, or if he is just secretly plotting revenge…
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